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Old 19-01-2006, 11:16 AM   #11
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Hehehe I gave up after the first line!
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Old 19-01-2006, 11:29 AM   #12
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Hee Hee
Disappointed now - was hoping for another mikerocksharder - so enjoyed the punch ups
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Old 19-01-2006, 11:34 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny Gray
was hoping for another mikerocksharder - so enjoyed the punch ups
Ah now, Mike was class. At least he could take a bit of stick.

BTW LMAO @ Midi. Nice one.
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Old 19-01-2006, 11:40 AM   #14
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Can't believe I actually wasted 5 minutes trying to decipher the first 2 paragraphs of that.....

Sorry folks I've told me Dad time and time again 'the forum is off limits after the pub!!'

Last edited by Coley; 19-01-2006 at 01:11 PM.
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Old 19-01-2006, 11:42 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coley
Can't believe I actually wasted 5 minutes trying to decipher the first 2 paragraphs of that.....

Sorry folks I've told me Dad time and time a 'the forum is off limits after the pub!!'
You've only just got back from the pub??
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Old 19-01-2006, 11:49 AM   #16
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Yes sirry just stumbled out of the Saloon.......
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Old 19-01-2006, 12:13 PM   #17
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It's not April 1st is it?
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Old 19-01-2006, 01:09 PM   #18
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I tried to put some spelling changes, some punctuation and paragraphing in here to make it readable. Don't know how to get the caps lock off though Here is the result -

F***KED UP THE FIRST ONE, SO IM DOING THIS B.S AGAIN. FOR ALL YOU SUPER-KNOW IT ALL-CARTOONIST/OOPS TATTOO ARTIST (IN MY BEST FRENCH) HOW I BECAME A TATTOO/BODY PIERCER GOD.
ONE DAY I WAS A HEROIN/CRACK HEAD JUNKY LOSER, WITH NOT A POT TO PISS IN- BUT I DID HAVE A VAN, WHICH I SOLD FOR SOME DOPE AND A TICKET FROM ONE CRUMMY LITTLE CITY, TO ANOTHER BIG CRAPPY CITY THAT WAS COLDER THEN THE CRAP I HAD JUST LEFT. I DECIDED TO GET CLEAN AND MAKE A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. I GOT OFF THE BUS AND WENT TO A SALVATION ARMY SHELTER. I ATE THREE MEALS, WENT TO SLEEP AND THE NEXT DAY I WENT OUT AND GOT A DEAD END JOB. I GOT SOME MONEY AND MOVED INTO A APARTMENT WITH ROOM MATES AND I GOT ANOTHER DEAD END JOB, BUT IT WAS 300 A WEEK SO I WAS ABLE TO EXPLORE THE CITY AND I FELT PRETTY GOOD ABOUT IT. I WAS GETTING IN MY LATE TWENTIES AND HAD NEVER HAD A TATTOO, AND ONE OF MY ROOM MATES GOT ONE AND IT GAVE ME THE BUG. SO I GO AROUND LOOKING AT SHOPS FROM THE OUTSIDE. I DIDNT HAVE A CAR, SO LOOKING FROM A PUBLIC BUS WAS AS GOOD AS IT WAS GOING TO GET AT 2 BELOW FREEZING OUTSIDE .I WAS UP NORTH AND IT WAS TO F***ING COLD TO GO GALLOPING AROUND ON MY TWO FEET LOOKING INTO SHOPS. SO I SEE THIS ONE SHOP ON 10TH ST AND ITS RIGHT BY MY HOUSE, SO EVERY DAY I WOULD GO IN, LOOK AROUND AND MADE GOOD FRIENDS WITH THE MANAGER.

HE WAS A SHORT LITTLE INDIAN A SAVVY LITTLE F***ER. HE HAD BEEN IN THE FED PENN FOR 6 YEARS HE SAID, AND AS I GOT TO KNOW HIM I GOT TO REALLY FIGURE HIM OUT - BECAUSE IM A LITTLE SAVVY FU**ER MYSELF. WHAT IT BOILED DOWN TO, IS HE WAS A INDIAN- AND IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW MUCH YOU’RE AN INDIAN - WHEN YOU’RE IN THE FED PENN, IF U GOT INDIAN IN YOU, YOU HAVE CERTAIN LITTLE RIGHTS- SUCH AS PRAYER TME. THE LAW SAYS (BECAUSE OF THEIR RELIGIOUS RIGHTS) THAT THEY CAN HAVE A BIG ASS TEEPEE AND A BIG ASS SMOKE HOUSE, AND THAT THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE CERTAIN INKS! GET IT? RED AND BLACK MOSTLY. SO HE BEING THE BIG CHIEF ALSO KNOWN AS MEDICINE OWL, GAVE HIM RIGHTS TO KEEP UP WITH THE INKS IN RELIGIOUS CEREMONIES. ALSO IT MADE IT EASY FOR THEM TO GET A LITTLE HAPPY DRINK KNOWN AS WINE, HOME-MADE SHOOT I THINK THEY CALLED IT. HE WAS ABLE TO TAKE THAT INK- THE RED AND BLACK INK, SNEAK IT OFF, AND BECAUSE HE WAS ABLE TO DRAW WITH OILS AND WATER COLORS, HE WAS ABLE TO APPLY THAT TO SOME SKIN. SOME TURNED OUT UGLY AS HELL BUT SOME TURNED OUT REAL GOOD. TURNED OUT REAL GOOD ON THE FELLOWS THAT JUST SO HAPPEN TO HAVE CONTACTS ON THE OUTSIDE...SAY PEOPLE LIKE THE OUTLAW BIKERS FROM THE INDIANAPOLIS CHAPTER. WHO JUST SO HAPPEN TO OWN A TATTOO SHOP.

SO HE GETS OUT AND STARTS LOOKING UP ALL THOSE CONTACTS HE MADE WHILE IN THE PENN AND IT JUST SO HAPPEN THE MAINMAN KNEW..THE MAIN MAIN MAN, AND HE JUST SO HAPPENED TO..GO OUT OF TOWN AND BROKE HIS LEG AT DAYTONA. SO THERE SAT A GOOD TATTOO SHOP READY TO GO, AND HAD BEEN SITTING THERE FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS. THEY MEET UP AND THE LITTLE INDIAN COCK SUCKER BEING SAVVY AS HE WAS SHOWED THE MAIN MAN ALL HIS OIL AND WATER PAINTINGS, AND THEY LOOKED GOOD. THEN HE MADE A FEW CALLS AND THE WORD WAS OUT THE INDIAN WAS STRAIGHT UP. HE EVEN HEARD ABOUT SOME TATTOOS THAT HE HAD DONE IN THE PENN AND THAT THEY TURNED OUT WELL. SO HE GOT THE JOB...COCK SUCKER COULD NOT DO A GOOD TATTOO IF HIS LIFE DEPENDED ON IT, BUT THE MAIN MAN WITH A BROKE HIP AND LEG COULDNT POSSIBLY CHECK EVERYTHING, SO HE WENT WITH WHAT HE HAD, AND WHAT WAS TOLD TO HIM BY MEN HE TRUSTED. HE HAD THE SHOP UP AND RUNNING FOR ABOUT FIVE MONTHS AND
THEN HERE I COME.

I HAD BEEN WORKING THERE TWO WEEKS AND AT THE END OF THE 2 WEEKS IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO GO BACK TO MY 300 A WEEK B.S JOB. HE DONE GOT USE TO ME, I WAS A GOOD SELLER I COULD TURN A 50 DOLLER TATTOO INTO A 150 DOLLER TATTOO HE LIKED THAT. PLUS I CLEANED THE SHOP AND DID ALL THE TRACING WORK I LEARNED HOW TO MAKE NEEDLES. ONE DAY SOME BODY SAID THAT THEY WANTED A TONGUE PIERCING. AT FIRST WE HAD TO SAY NO. NEITHER ONE OF US KNEW HOW TO DO THAT, BUT WE HEARD ALL THE HORROR STORIES ABOUT IT. WE SAID COME BACK MONDAY WE DONT HAVE A PIERCER HERE YET. HE ASKED ME DO I WANT TO GO FOR IT OR SHOULD HE HIRE A BODY PIERCER. I SAID ‘HOW MUCH DO I MAKE?’ HE SAID I (THE SHOP) GET THE COST(THE MARK UP) OF THE BARBELL AND YOU GET WHAT EVER THE COST OF THE PIERCING IS. I SAID ‘$40?’ HE SAID DEAL...’OH’ I SAID..’CAN I BUY THE AFTERCARE AND KEEP THE PROFIT ON THAT?’ SURE HE SAID WHY NOT. SO I ORDERD 2 DVDS NAMED ‘THE HOLE TRUTH ABOUT BODY PIERCING.’ IT WAS A 2 PART DVD SET ONE WAS ON REGULAR PIERCING AND THE OTHER WAS ON EVERY THING BELOW THE BELT INCLUDING MEN. I DIDN’T CARE. I WAS ABLE TO KEEP THE PROFIT OF THE AFTERCARE AND THE PIERCING WHICH WE AGREED SHOULD STAY NO HIGHER THEN $50 BUT WHEN IT CAME TO MEN BELOW THE BELT I WAS ALOWED TO CHARGE WHAT EVER I WANTED. AND WOMEN WERE THE SAME UNTILL IT CAME TO THE CLIT, THAT REALLY TOOK SOME TIME I CHARGED THE HELL OUT OF THAT AND I BEGAN TO FIND OUT THAT SOME PEOPLE WELL....MANY PEOPLE FELT THAT IF YOU DIDN'T CHARGE HIGH ENOUGH ON SOME THINGS, AND DIDNT TAKE LONG ENOUGH, THEY FELT LIKE THEY GOT ROBBED……. THINKING HELL I COULD HAVE DONE THAT, OR ANY ONE COULD DO THAT, THE 'IRONY" OF IT IS "YES" YOUR RIGHT..YOU CAN DO IT SHE CAN DO IT, YOUR MOTHER CAN DO IT, ANY ONE CAN DO IT. BUT TRUE AS IT IS SOME THINGS THAT ANY ONE CAN DO I WOULD NOT DO UNTILL I HAVE DONE MANY MANY OF THE THINGS THAT ANY ONE CAN DO BEFORE I WOULD EVER ATEMPT TO DO IT.


SO HERE WE WERE ONE EX-CONVICT WHO WAS RUNNING A TATTOO SHOP THAT HAD BEEN ON THE SAME STREET FOR 10 YEARS AND A EX-RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT POSING AS A BODY PIERCER/TATTOO ARTIST. BRINGING IN OVER $2000.00 A WEEK…….. THAT WAS JUST MY CUT. OUR VERY FIRST VICTOM GOD BLESS HER WANTED HER TONGUE PIERCED. I WAS IN THE BACK LOOKIN OVER AND OVER THE DVD, AS I ALL READY HAD DONE FOR 2 DAYS AND NIGHTS. HERE HE IS THE CONFIDENT TATTOO SHOP MANAGER WHO HAS THIS ‘IVE DONE THIS 1000 TIMES BEFORE’ LOOK ON HIS FACE. I OPEN THE CURTAIN AND WITH ONE LOOK AT HIS NAPOLEON STANCE I BEGAN TO LAUGH. AT FIRST IT WAS A MURMUR..THEN IT WAS A GIGGLE HIS FACE TURNED RED, HER TOUNGE STICKING OUT AND ALL OF THIS SPIT ALL OVER THE PLACE. WE BEGANE TO LAUGH SO HARD INSIDE THAT WE HAD TO GO OUTSIDE THE BACK AN LET IT OUT..’WHAT FOOLS WE ARE,’ WE SAID. WE WENT THROUGH THE MOTIONS AGAIN LIKE ON THE VIDEO AND WENT BACK IN, AND HE HELPED ME BY HOLDING HER MOUTH OPEN WIDER THEN IT NEEDED TO BE. I GRABBED HER TONGUE WHICH SLIPPED OUT, AND I GOT A DRY PAPER TOWEL, DRIED IT REAL GOOD PUTTING DENTIST COTTON SWABS IN THE CHEEKS TO STOP THE SALIVA. I MARKED THE SPOT AND PUSHED IN THE NEEDLE, WHICH GAVE ITS OWN SMALL PROBLEMS, THEN FOLLOWED THROUGH WITH THE BARBELL. THEN IT TOOK WHAT SEEMED AN HOUR TO GET THE STUPID BALL ON, AND WHEN IT WAS, I WAS DONE. WE WERE DONE. SHE RINSED HER MOUTH OUT AND LOOKED IN THE MIRROR. I WAS HORRIFIED TO SEE THAT IT WAS CROOKED, BUT NOT REALLY BAD OR REALLY EVEN NOTICEABLE. BUT TO ME IT WAS THE PISA TOWER.
I WAS SO THRILLED IT WAS A RUSH LIKE NO OTHER I HAD EVER HAD, AND I JUST KNEW, THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS SO MANY GOOD THINGS TO ME IN FEELING, I KNEW MY DAYS WERE NUMBERED. I WAS SURE SHE WOULD COME BACK WITH HER FRIENDS AND DEMAND HER MONEY BACK, AND THE WHOLE TOWN AND TATTOO PEOPLE WERE GOING TO KNOW I WAS A FRAUD.
TWO DAYS LATER SHE DID COME BACK LAUGHING, AND BROUGHT HER SISTER AND ONE OF HER FRIENDS. I MADE GOOD MONEY THAT DAY, SO FROM THEN ON IT WAS ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW.


THEN AFTER THREE YEARS WENT BY, I HAD A PORTFOLIO EQUAL TO NO OTHER. I WORKED AT PARTIES, CONCERTS, BONFIRES, STRIP CLUBS…….. KEEP THAT STORY TO MYSELF.
SO THERE YA GO. THE SAME THING WENT WITH TATTOOS. WE OPENED A SHOP, SUPPLIED ALL THE EQUIPMENT, HIRED ONE OR TWO REAL TATTOO ARTISTS, AND PAID THEM WELL - SO THEY WOULD STICK AROUND. THE HARDEST THING ABOUT FINDING ARTISTS, WAS THAT THEY WERE NOT AS EXPERIENCED AS WE WERE. I HAD BEEN PARTYING WITH DRUGS FOR A LONG TIME. I WAS OVER IT MAN- DONE FOR. I JUST WANTED TO PAY THE BILLS, DRIVE A CAR THAT WOULDN’T BREAK DOWN, HAVE INSURANCE, AND PUT MONEY AWAY - OR EVEN HAVE A DECENT LADYFRIEND. I MEAN, THEY COULDN'T KEEP CONTROL OVER THEIR DRUG USE. IT WAS ALWAYS A REVOLVING DOOR WITH ARTISTS. FINALLY I DECIDED TO GO TO A LOCAL COLLEGE AND TALKED TO A BUNCH OF ARTISTS. MOSTLY GRAPHIC ARTISTS. I WOULD JUST SAY ‘HEY DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A 1000.00 OR MORE A WEEK, GO TO PARTIES AND GET LAID?’..YES! THEY WOULD SAY. ‘WELL COME WORK AT OUR TATTOO SHOP.’ THEY WERE GOOD KIDS (I SAY KIDS THEY WERE ALMOST MY AGE) NO DRUGS, AND THEY HAD RESPONSIBILTIES, SO THEY MADE THEIR MONEY, WENT HOME AND SHOWED UP FOR WORK. MOST DIDN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT TATTOOING AND IN LESS THAN 5 HOURS, THEY HAD IT DOWN GOOD ENOUGH TO TRANSFER ART FROM FLASH TO SKIN. SOME OF THE DUDES REALLY KICKED ASS, DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL AND WENT ON TO BE WELL KNOWN. I CANT SAY NAMES, BUT YOU HAVE SEEN THEM.


I DIDN'T KNOW A THING ABOUT TATTOOS, BUT THREE OR FOUR YEARS LATER, I COULD TRANSFER ANY TATTOO FROM A PILE OF FLASH TO SKIN, AND COLOUR IT JUST AS GOOD AS ANY OTHER TRANSFERIST. I DON’T CALL EVERY PERSON THAT WORKS AT A TATTOO SHOP A TATTOO ARTIST -NO NO NO.. YOU HAVE MEN AND WOMEN WHO CAN TRACE A FLASH BOARD, TRANSFER IT OVER TO SKIN, LET IT DRY, FOLLOW THE OUTLINE, KEEP THE FLASH CLOSE TO YOU WHERE YOU CAN SEE IT (UNLESS YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THE SAME FLASH FOR TEN YEARS AND YOU JUST KNOW WHERE THE COLOUR GOES) AND BOOM YOUR DONE! YOU COLLECT YOUR MONEY. A TATTOO ARTIST NOW IS A WHOLE OTHER STORY. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, US TRANSFER COPIERS CAN ONLY LOOK AT YOU AND DREAM.
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Old 19-01-2006, 01:15 PM   #19
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*sigh* Well I tried
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Old 19-01-2006, 01:20 PM   #20
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Ok that was a lot easier to digest....Lucii you have patience of a saint to wade through that and I 'm very impressed, you speak Scottish and American

Still not quite sure what the moral of the story is..
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