Old 12-03-2018, 10:03 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by guesinho93 View Post
So let's go straight to the point : you and your husband are different. You can't force him to love tattoos if he doesn't want to, but maybe try to explain to him that true love goes far beyond some ink under your skin. If he deeply loves you for who you are, he'll stay with you. If not, he may leave, but you certainly doesn't want to sacrifice your true self for a man who would leave you over something like this. I mean, it doesn't change you as a whole, it is just some ink on you, which is really no big deal.. I think he can come to terms with it if you tell him why you really want the tattoo, why you have to do it in order to fulfill your own dream. The key is, imo, having a serious talk about it without arguing too strongly (easier said than done, I know).. Be strong, be brave and try to talk about it to him. Good luck, anyway! Keep us informed
I am really glad it worked out for you. It seems like how my first tattoo went with him. He even says he thinks itís cute and doesnít mind it at all. But he has been extremely unhappy that Iíve started bringing up further artwork, and he really shuts down and refuses to talk further about it, which is unfortunate because I like to talk things through. Heís made his point clear and now I feel as though so have I. And now I will be going to get this new tattoo and perhaps coming home only to be left by him. And that is no exaggeration. This is why I have reached out to gain perspective, it is causing serious upset in my relationship. Part of me feels that I should continue to keep the peace and compromise, and then the other part of me wants to yell ďf&$! you! I am a grown ass woman!Ē Or something to that affect....
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Old 12-03-2018, 10:07 PM   #12
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Hmmmmm itís a dilemma for sure. One, if you donít mind me saying, more pertinent to a relationship guidance forum than this one I would suggest. Everyone here is a tattoo enthusiast of varying degree so we are more likely to support your view than that of your spouse in this particular debate.

Itís a shame you feel you have to fret for months before raising something your husband is going to disagree with however. Ask yourself, does he do the same before suggesting something that might be unpopular with you?
Lol believe it or not I am seeing a therapist about some things and this is a huge part of what comes up in my sessions! And I do understand I will be getting a biased view by posting to this particular forum but thatís what I want. I wanted to know if anyone that is a fellow tattoo enthusiast had ever dealt with this situation. Everyone is different and compromises for their relationships in different ways. I am wondering if there is something I am not thinking of that could work. What, I have no clue! I donít know how to solve this so we are both happy.
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Old 12-03-2018, 10:11 PM   #13
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Really depends their attitude about it imo. The way you describe it makes him sound like a bit of a dick to be honest but that's obviously just my opinion. I wanted to get a wolf head tattoo and my wife said she really doesn't like it but if I wanted to get it that's okay too. I ended up not going for it cause there are plenty of other tattoos out there that I want and I don't want anything on my body that my wife really doesn't like.
Iím not going to disagree. I was trying to tell the situation factually, but I am a pretty expressive person. I know described him speaking ďvehementlyĒ and that is true. I feel that the anger that comes out of him at the mere mention of me getting another tattoo does sort of make him a dick about it. There are so many more important things in life and I am spending energy worries if my husband will want to see me naked, and that feels like shit.
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Old 12-03-2018, 10:16 PM   #14
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My wife appreciates tattoos but isn't so into them she'd get one herself. She likes mine, and when I think of a new one I always run it by her. But the answer is always the same. "It's up to you."
She knows it's my body and I can do what I want to it. And she will love me no matter what. That's the main thing.

When you love someone, no matter if they lose a limb or get burned or disfigured somehow you still love them. That's what marriage is all about. If someone can't love you because you have a tattoo, then they won't love you if you get fat or your hair falls out or you are in an accident that leaves your appearance changed or you have a baby and get stretch marks. That's not the kind of person you deserve to be with.

I'm trying to see it from his side. If he thinks it will look trashy and he's just trying to look out for you, then try to show him tattoos where it doesn't look trashy. A lot of people have only seen mediocre tattoos and have never seen the work of the likes of Carlos Torres.
Wow. I am sort of speechless after reading your post. I think I knew this but have not been brave enough to admit it to myself. I think I might have needed my desire for beautiful art, and most importantly the freedom to express myself, to be validated. Hard to admit, but feels good to know Iím not going crazy. You live with someone for over a decade and build a life with them, so you think things have to be one way. Thank you so much for your thoughtful and understanding words.
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Old 20-03-2018, 10:50 PM   #15
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Wow. I am sort of speechless after reading your post. I think I knew this but have not been brave enough to admit it to myself. I think I might have needed my desire for beautiful art, and most importantly the freedom to express myself, to be validated. Hard to admit, but feels good to know Iím not going crazy. You live with someone for over a decade and build a life with them, so you think things have to be one way. Thank you so much for your thoughtful and understanding words.
After reading all your posts, the biggest thing that stuck out to me is how you've grown over the years to become more confident (good for you!). Your tattoo is probably going to be a daily reminder of the lessening of your husband's influence over what you do. Even more so because it's something he doesn't visually care for. But, as mentioned in the post you're responding to, our bodies will change over time.

Last year, I suffered 2nd-degree burns on both my legs after I slipped with a hot pot of water. The dark marks are still there and probably will be for a long time. I honestly don't see them as being any different than my tattoo. They are both noticeable marks on my body that are impossible to miss. At least my tattoo is actual art rather than random streaks and blotches. In fact, part of my tattoo covers some of the burns which is really awesome.

Hopefully, your husband would be able to accept your body if something similar happens to you (praying it won't). If that's the case, then he should be able to accept any tattoo that you get.
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Old 21-03-2018, 03:17 AM   #16
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My ex knew I didn't like tattoos and came home with a huge piece on her back smiling lmao I went crazy and was so angry but it was her body and what can you really say?

I was so scared she would get more and more because I knew I wouldn't find her attractive anymore and likely break us up.

I did accept her tattoos and she had quite a few but god I never liked them and don't miss her now.

I'd say it's best to come to a compromise where you both agree but I can see where he sees it and I know what it's like when you don't like them, it's hard because why should you not have them aswell?

But think about what your husband thinks and feels he is more important than all of us here, we are nobodies!!

On the other side, I dated a girl who had none but hated them on guys lol she hated me being covered and didn't wanna ever see them, even the ones from world class artists, god forbid if she knew what I spent lol

It did kinda bug me when she would say they look shit and you have ruined yourself when I would spend so much and go through so much pain just for her to say you looked so much better with none.

So as someone who has been on both sides I say you at minimum need him to not care, no good if he is repulsed by his wife lmao
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Old 21-03-2018, 08:09 PM   #17
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This reminds me of me and my ex, I hate girls with tattoos other than like female models who are 9/10 but the average girl I see, I hate them.
I'm absolutely astounded at this comment.

Normal girls of the forum - unless you're magazine ready, size 6 with flawless skin, you better veil up.... oh and cover your hideous tattoos whilst you're at it.

Seriously, do you realise how that makes you sounds, or don't you care?

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Old 21-03-2018, 08:31 PM   #18
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I'm absolutely astounded at this comment.

Normal girls of the forum - unless your magazine ready, size 6 with flawless skin, you better veil up.... oh and cover your hideous tattoos whilst you're at it.

Seriously, do you realise how that makes you sounds, or don't you care?
Why are you astounded? Should I have to find all women with tattoos attractive? Does it offend you if someone isn't attracted to you?

Ofcourse I don't care how I sound, I like what I like and that's it. I don't like tattoos on 90% of girls neither do a lot of guys it's no different than when women say they only like tattoos 'on the right guy' yeah a Brad Pitt but we don't cry.

You sound like one of those Liberal PC feminists who demand every man find you attractive because you say so.
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Old 21-03-2018, 08:39 PM   #19
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Why are you astounded? Should I have to find all women with tattoos attractive? Does it offend you if someone isn't attracted to you?

Ofcourse I don't care how I sound, I like what I like and that's it. I don't like tattoos on 90% of girls neither do a lot of guys it's no different than when women say they only like tattoos 'on the right guy' yeah a Brad Pitt but we don't cry.

You sound like one of those Liberal PC feminists who demand every man find you attractive because you say so.
I hate hearing "liberal PC feminists" as an insult. It's just so lazy and an awful attempt at excusing your behavior.

"Herr derr, someone got offended, they must be a pussy cuz I know how the world works. There's no possible way I could be wrong."

You honestly come off hella elitist in a lot of your posts man. You getting some good tattoos doesn't make your opinions on tattoos anymore valuable. Just remember that the world doesn't revolve around you or your opinions, and that most people's opinions (yours definitely included) aren't worth shit. Try to live life in a moral way, because that's the only thing that matters man, living only for yourself means that you are telling everyone else they don't matter.
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Old 21-03-2018, 08:48 PM   #20
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I hate hearing "liberal PC feminists" as an insult. It's just so lazy and an awful attempt at excusing your behavior.

"Herr derr, someone got offended, they must be a pussy cuz I know how the world works. There's no possible way I could be wrong."

You honestly come off hella elitist in a lot of your posts man. You getting some good tattoos doesn't make your opinions on tattoos anymore valuable. Just remember that the world doesn't revolve around you or your opinions, and that most people's opinions (yours definitely included) aren't worth shit. Try to live life in a moral way, because that's the only thing that matters man, living only for yourself means that you are telling everyone else they don't matter.
And yet i'm the one being told what I can and cannot like? Yeah, I really throw my weight around pal.

Incase you was unaware this is a forum where you discuss topics, I can't help if someone doesn't like what I write, can I?

Honestly I am the furthest thing from an elitist who values my own opinion more than others, I try to help loads of people on here with various things from tattoos to lasering while others give the generic trope of 'it's your body, do what makes you happy'

She has taken offence because I said I only find certain girls attractive with tattoos? Well shit, sorry I don't find size 20 Sally with the pocket watch sexy lmao
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