This afternoon I received an email that had me reaching for the Bible. Everybody should have a Bible in the house in case you need to dive into it to prove somebody wrong or quote like Samuel Jackson in Pulp Fiction. It said "Someone may have pointed it out to you already. Found an error on the cover of The Tattoo Bible. It should be Revelation, being that it was revealed to John once."
So I thought, in a word, shit. We were so careful, especially with the covers. So I checked and saw it was fine. The subhead says 'From Genesis To Revelations'. Which is what it was supposed to be... then I realised that what he was actually saying was it should have been Revelation in the singular. I checked, and there it was in the Good Book. Revelation. I never knew that before. I wrote back and said thanks for pointing it out and just for the record, there’s nobody called John that works here. I’m not sure that arrow would quite hit its target as intended but still.
Anyway, there are worse crimes I think, but none that make my heart skip a beat quite like that. What I haven't said here is that the email actually started with the words "Hi Soon...". I assume this was an attempt to address me by name. How can you get that wrong when the guy probably had to look it up in the first place? Not that I mind too much. It's pretty much a daily thing. I blame
Which leads me nicely onto another email I received that said something along the lines of: “Why does it say Mister before your name next to your picture?” And I must apologise. I assume that everybody else has also been brought up watching
For those too young/too old/too far away to have witnessed this slice of '70s nonsense, Basil Brush is a fox glove puppet and used to call his, er... comic human foil by their first name preceded by Mister. Such as Mister Roy. A six-year-old me thought it was hilarious. So I figured, nobody can spell my name, nobody can pronounce my name, there's not many easier names to remember than 'Mister Smith' out there. Let's do it.
...and it says that in the Bible too. Not that Bible. The other one.