Tattoo Vixens - Melissa

Published: 04 April, 2011 - Featured in Skin Deep 197, April, 2011

Melissa is a Vixen of extremes - from schools to dogs, books and tofu, it's all their for the taking...

I've been checking up on you. I hear you hate poetry. What's poetry ever done to you that was so bad?

"Poetry makes me angry, I'm not really sure exactly why but I think the majority of it is pretentious wankery."

Jeez. What is it with you Vixens and dogs - you all seem to have them. I hope you've got a proper dog and not one of those snappy little things...

"Oh I love dogs more than people in most cases. I love big proper dogs, not those little rat ones. My dog is the love of my life, he’s a beautiful big basset hound. It was my birthday recently and my boyfriend bought me a portrait tattoo of him (of my dog, not my boyfriend!) I put together a pin up and pups calendar ( last year to raise some money for the dog pound I got him from. The national and international press decided it "suggested bestiality" as it contained "scantily clad ladies with dogs". I'm still a bit baffled over that one. I'm so broody for a puppy at the moment, I really want a bulldog."

Says here, you went to 10 different schools. What - all at the same time? Couldn't get enough of it huh?

"Nah, I was very well behaved in school and never really got in trouble. My mum moved a lot so I changed schools all the time, I was constantly the new girl. I kinda liked it though."

Also says here that fried tofu is your favourite food ever. I challenge you with lying through your teeth as tofu is not anything remotely like food. How do you plead?

"Fried tofu would be my last meal if I was on death row, its awesome. I suppose its more about what it’s cooked with because tofu on its own tastes of nothing. I'm addicted to fried tofu, I even have it tattooed on my leg."

Now you're stealing my heart - my favourite thing in the world is reading too. What's your latest bedtime partner? And don't disappoint with any of that chick-lit nonsense...

"I read constantly, I usually can't sleep unless I read, I go through a couple of books a week. I have "Book Worm" tattooed across my knuckles. I read a lot of Stephen King and Ben Elton (he's an amazing author although I don't like him as a stand up) but I'll read anything. Once I start a book I have to finish it even if its rubbish. I re-read Charlie Brookers books all the time, I want to be him when I grow up. The most recent book I read was The Dirt (the Motley Crue book) those dudes rock so hard, its insane! The Twilight books are my dirty little secret, even if it’s uncool..."

Yeah - sorry. That is very uncool...

You own a company called Our Little Secret. It's either a business or it's a secret - you have to make up your mind because it can't be both! 

"Our Little Secret is my shop (it’s an online and retail shop) I sell everything "fake" from top to toe fake hair, fake eyelashes, lip plumpers, boob enhancers, fake tan, make up, fake nails, even fake bums (yup it’s a real thing!) It’s called Our Little Secret as guys are usually pretty clueless about just how fake us girls are. I've been doing hair extensions for over 8 years now and teach classes in it too."


Photography: Danielle Keogh