Old 10-09-2004, 09:53 PM   #1
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Default Divorce

Hi everyone

As a newcomer to this forum i thought i'd start with a difficult question for anyone who cares to read this. I have two sleeves, one tribal and one Japanese which extends onto my chest. These i had done a couple of years ago (cover ups). My girlfriend of 11 years was not impressed when i had these done! Anyway, i now plan to have a backpiece done in the Japanese style and the girlfriend is not impressed, infact she has said that it will be the end of us I have divided feelings over this; on the one hand i have strong feelings for my girlfriend and on the other i feel very angry that another person feels its their right to tell me what i should do with my own body. I feel it is the right time for more ink to go in and the urge is building steadily. I'm sure some of you out there have had similar experiences, any advice?
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Old 10-09-2004, 10:02 PM   #2
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plenty more fish in the sea.
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Old 10-09-2004, 10:10 PM   #3
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seriously though, my girl has had some reservations about my ink in the past and has well, quietly, voiced some, lets say, concern over my choices of tattoo.

But its not just the physical side of you that should appeal to your girl so anything you decide to do she should love you enough to support you whatever choice you make, or at least accept any choice you make about YOUR body.

If she cant do that then its time to do some serious thinking. After all what makes us as people is our ability to make our own independant decisions.

The choice is yours.

Just let me know how it turns out, i know plenty of hot ladies here in belfast that love the ink.
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Old 10-09-2004, 10:17 PM   #4
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try talking to her.
my girlfriend didnt want me to get my neck tattooed, but after discussing it sensibly we agreed that i can do as i want with my body.
she fully understands that i love getting tattooed, will shortly be getting both my hands done and the other side of my neck.
I think your mrs needs to be a bit more understanding
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Old 10-09-2004, 11:45 PM   #5
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My exhusband didnt like my interest to piercing and tattoo. We were together for three years and in that time I took off all the piercings he didnt like. I thought that this would make him happier with me but he wasnt, soon he wanted me to change something else...
The only thing I can tell you is that if she loves you she must love you for what you are and not for what she wants you to be...
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Old 11-09-2004, 12:00 AM   #6
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sit down and have a long chat with her, find out what her true protest is all about, if after the long chat she is still not playing ball, then go get it done, see what happens after, not like you can get it all done in one sitting, will be a lot of session work. this will give your gf time to get used to it.

if she is still upset dump her first, hehe.

good luck
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Old 11-09-2004, 02:11 AM   #7
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is it the style of the tatt or is it purely just the fact she doesnt want you to get anymore that she is objecting to? Either way like everyone is saying it is your body. My ex-wife was alright with my tattos as she had a few herself she would maybe discourage me from ones that she didnt think would suit me and other times she would encourage to go and get the work done.

Something a bit odd if after all that time and she doesnt accept what you are into and wants to end it over it, doesnt have to like it but to end a relationship over a you getting a tattoo maybe it is time to look else where?
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Old 11-09-2004, 09:20 AM   #8
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I have to agree with Sara, in a relationship one partner cannot always be bending or changing to suit the other ,but there may be some underlying reason why she's not happy with tattoo's which is troubleing her .
I have divorced 2 previous husbands for behaving in a way I found offensive but it was shall we say alot more violent than getting tattooed .
it could be something as simple as the attention that tattoo's can bring or she realy doesn't like them , good luck & I hope you can both sort it out so your both happy with the out come
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Old 11-09-2004, 12:48 PM   #9
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its your body,do with it as you see fit, if she can't accept you for who you are...FUCK HER!!
Fortunately my wife is cool as fuck and doesn't question anything i do with regards to modifying my body.mainly coz she doesn't know what i am going to do from one day to the next but also because if she did try to stop me it would be futile and i would do it anyway.Oh and coz I'm lovely.
Originally Posted by Skelly:-
i wanna be pretty like Funhouse n Brim

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Old 11-09-2004, 08:58 PM   #10
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is there anything else 'wrong' ..? it seems to me (without knowing either of you , so forgive my supposistion..) that this is a tip of an iceburg scenario - it's an excuse. my initial feelings are that you own your own body - that is why you choose to mark it - but there should be some regard for the feelings of those that you decide to share that body with. my ex *forbade* me from getting certain piercings or tattoos below the elbow. four years on i look totally different and i'm a lot happier - and think 'how DARE he try and control me'.

eleven years is quite a long time..people do have the capacity to change and the other person in the relationship should respect this. if they don't, then theres a problem. talk to her about it and consider 'relate'. it's helpful to talk about things when there's a trained and non judgemental individual to help and theres neutral territory.

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