Skin Deep 237

Skin Deep 237 29 April 2014 237

I’ve got a friend who has been married - twice. On both occasions, he has been so committed to his partner that he had their name tattooed on his arms. One on each. After his first wife left him for another man, he got her name covered up with a beautiful cobra which was in itself, indicative of his feelings about her at the time.

His second wife, who left him for another woman (which apparently didn’t hurt quite so much as being left for another man) had a far more common name than the first. So common was her name in fact, that the next woman he went out with (and also asked for her hand in marriage - must be something in the water) had the same name as his second wife.

My friend was quite pleased with this scenario as he was a little on the rebound and it lessened the chances of accidentally calling his current girlfriend by the name of his second wife.

His second wife loved the fact that he had her name tattooed on him (although evidently not enough to stop her from sleeping with somebody else), his current girlfriend however is not so keen. I say ‘not so keen’ but what I really mean is that ‘she hates it’. She hates coincidentally having the same name as the ‘one before’ and wants him to get it removed. Not covered up - she is not the greatest fan of tattoos - but totally removed. His (stupid) argument is that it’s still her name and shows how much he loves her too but this is ice so thin, you could use it to make a stencil.

I think she has a point. The same name it may be, but it’s not the same instance of the name.

The sensible thing to do would be to hit it with the lasers but this current beau has also asked him not to get any more tattoos. So he’s sitting there thinking that not only will he not be ‘able’ to get any more ink but if she has it her way, he will actually have less ink than when he started seeing her, and that goes against everything that he was working towards.

So - obviously knowing what I do for a living, he came over to see me to ask my advice. Being the supremely excellent friend that I am, I delved into the situation a little deeper and found some extra details about his new girlfriend than I perhaps needed to know. Did she have a sister? Nice friends? Yes she did. What were they like? Her sister was quite similar to her but a year older. Her friends were nice but most were busy planning weddings and children.

I thought long and hard about this over a cold Budweiser and came up with four wonderful solutions:
A - Go for the tattoo removal which, while not ideal would at least eradicate that hurtful part from his past regardless and free up some space for better work.
B - He could get it lasered and/or covered up against her wishes and have a new tattoo and they could fight about it later.
C - If his past record was anything to go by, she would be gone soon anyway and he could simply look for somebody else with the same name who did love and understand tattoos and all would be well.
D - This is my favourite. I suggested that he sleep with her sister or one of her friends, that way he could get even for all the ex- wives indiscretions, get a great tattoo to celebrate and finally move on with his life.

I may not be the greatest friend in the world but you have to admit, I do have some fine ideas.

I don’t know how it will end. The issue is still ongoing but the fact remains that it is an issue and won’t go away for either of them. Sooner or later, a straw will break the camels back and the rules will change for both of them.

So what did we learn from this? Ink does not change who you are on the inside but it may change how others feel about you. We also learned never to ask me for advice - you should never cheat on your partner. Not unless that other person is really hot...


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