Paul Sweeney - 213: Lazing on a Sunny Afternoon. In The... Summertime?

Published: 25 June, 2012 - Featured in Skin Deep 213, June, 2012

Before I get started on another one of my pun-laden tangents associated with what appears to be a recurrently unhealthy obsession with the appropriation of song titles and lyrics specifically from ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s popular music, I would like to make an official apology…

“W-w-w-whaaat?” I hear you cry. Yes, an apology. And not just any old apology, but one of the utmost official nature. Now some of you may recall a few issues back, despite the apparent lack of summery weather anywhere else in the UK, with the exception of London and some of its surrounding areas, I announced the official start of the British summertime in my somewhat prematurely entitled ‘Hot in the City’ article. Alas, the heat in the city (and everywhere else for that matter) was about as bloody dependable as, for want of a better comparison, the British summertime!

I declare I am a bona fide fool for assuming one day of sunshine in this country certifies its existence for any greater period of time (or ever again for that matter). And so, upon sharing those flurries of foolish optimism with you, thus filling your vulnerable trust voids with false hope, writhing red backed and freckle faced in the heat of the moment, I must apologise. Let’s look back on it as a warm up for the far more enduring summer months we have ahead of us, a liberal spring tickle!

You’re right, this has taken a rather frisky ol’ jaunt down ‘Le Avenue de le Double Entendre’… must be all this sunshine we’ve been having (ha! I used past tense, which is my grammatical get out of jail free card; just in case the sun decides to take his hat off and take a massive dump on it). Not that I’ve allowed myself to revel in the aforementioned fiery bringer of happiness, due to a soon-to-be-seen work commitment I’ve had to take extra special care over my appearance, which has meant I’ve spent the hottest weekend of the year so far in Wayfarers, covered head to toe in SPF 50 and avoiding direct sunlight like an old school vampire.

If anyone saw me successfully evading the UV rays in the cool, dark sanctuary of the cinema (I went to see Dark Shadows, rather appropriate I thought…) this weekend, they would’ve been forgiven for thinking I was just another overly keen Burton fan/ disorganised goth celebrating a bleated World Goth Day; which for those of you who were unaware was on May 22 this year and a scorching 25ºC in London.

Oh British summertime, you do have a cruel sense of humour!


Text: Paul Sweeney