Paul Sweeney - 220: Happy New Your!

Published: 02 January, 2013 - Featured in Skin Deep 220, January, 2013

It’s officially 2013, welcome to the future people! Finally I can break out my lycra silver one-piece and aluminium iHelmet combo, replace all of my buttons with velcro straps and my shoelaces with light-weight, pressure resistant, hydraulic locking mechanisms.

But possibly most exciting of all; we are only two short years away from the long-awaited hoverboard being recognised as a viable mode of transport – when those bad boys go on sale I’m going to be first in line… at the hospital for spine replacement surgery!

Aside from the never-ending spiral of technological and fashion-based anticipation, it is the start of a brand new year. We have all survived (yet another) threat of apocalyptic bullshit. So by way of celebrating our newly found liberation, it seems only fitting that we should all enforce an entirely new set of rules upon ourselves to enable us to live longer, healthier and more fulfilling lifestyles. Not forgetting the fact that we will inevitably break them within the first month of their inauguration, and return to the same comfortably defective individuals we were at the end of the previous year – thus creating a circular existence of self-perpetuating ambitious disappointment. Because try as we might to meld ourselves into the perfect affectation of human existence, we are who we are and that is why this year I have vowed to not make any unrealistic attempts to modify the person I have already become (ok maybe one or two extra tattoos, but that’s a given).

My New Year’s resolution is to accept the person that I’ve become and the goals that I aim to achieve over the next 52 weeks will not be condensed into a highly concentrated bombardment of self-improvement, but instead a slow release of amalgamations, bite-sized adaptation nuggets lightly seasoned with the spice of life (that’s some straight up poetic inspiration mother fuckers).

The season to be jolly doesn’t have to end here. And let’s be honest, why should our jolliness be limited to one season at the end of the calendar? Why not make every new season a jolly one? We should grab 2013 by its big fat juicy future melons and give ’em a healthy squeeze as we embrace life as we know it. This might not be the best year ever, it might just be another year, but we’ve had years before and we’ll have years again. Be average or be extreme, just be yourself and do what makes you happy. Live dangerously or play it safe. It’s your life, so do it the way you want, and if it doesn’t work out you’ll find another way that does.

Happy New Year!


Text: Paul Sweeney