Paul Sweeney - 221: Happy Anniversary!

Published: 28 January, 2013 - Featured in Skin Deep 221, February, 2013

What’s that? You’d completely forgotten it’s been a whole year since I first started scribing; loosely tattoo-related nonsense, for the wonderful people at Skin Deep magazine? For the love of Shakespeare! I don’t know why I bother sometimes?

Yes, I suppose time does fly when you’re having fun, and this last year has been such fun you hadn’t even noticed you’re right it has been a whirlwind of wisely cracked witticisms. Well since you put it like that, I forgive you!

So, it’s been a year well spent, force-feeding you my bizarre perspective on life; as I know it. One big old year; that’s nearly a lifetime, if you happen to live as long as Mad Max or Albert Einstein (Mad Max and Albert Einstein were the names of my first, and only, hamsters. Just in case you thought, a) I was under the impression Mad Max was a real person, and b) He and Albert Einstein only managed to succeed in living for just over one year). Ironically Mad Max was actually the smarter of the two (again within the context of my hamsters and not, as previously stated, anything to do with their more commonly recognised namesakes).

Childhood pets aside, this last year has been a memorable one, and even if I’m struck down by the early onset of Alzheimer’s (I just had to look up how to spell Alzheimer’s, because I’d forgotten; that can’t be good?), at least I’ll have these articles to look back on and remind me that my life can be seriously fuck weird at times.

I can derive some pleasure from the fact that I no longer have four coffins in my living/ dying room. Technically speaking – ‘I’ don’t have a living room. What I do have is a number of other people’s living rooms that I am more than welcome to visit occasionally… “The world is my sofa” there, I said it! I will never have it tattooed, I don’t ever want to say it, or hear it said again. It’s 2013 and I’m on the sofa. If your couch needs a potato – I can be your Mr Potato! I think that’s made me sound like I’m advertising in the back pages of some kinda lazy chip fetishist magazine? (Could be arranged. Ed)
I can’t end my anniversary article on that lethargic, deep fried note, can I? No, surely not? Well, I guess it would be fitting to say something touching about my journey since I began working for Skin Deep; at Tattoo Jam in August 2011 and how that led to me writing for them at the start of last year.

But I only had this much space… and I prefer writing about hamsters.


Text: Paul Sweeney